HOOD FIGHT ALERT: Giant Gonzalez Serves Up A Twig

That shit isn't even fair.

I Fuckin Hate The World

I woke up early this morning to a commercial that irritated me a little. It was for a handless soap dispenser. This is how lazy we've gotten. But instead of acknowledging that we're all fat and lazy pieces of shit, they came up with another explanation for why this is needed. Apparently, there's a huge buildup of germs on the top of a soap pump that rubs off on your hands when you use it. Which, I can completely understand. That makes a lot of sense. What I don't get is...why that matters? Because after you fuckin pump the soap...you wash your hands. For most of us, somewhat thoroughly. I'm 26 (almost...Jesus Christ) years old. The mass off disgustingness on the top of the soap pump ain't ever done anything substantial to me. And I'm not about to get fleeced for a 20 dollar bottle of soap that automatically squirts some soap out when I put my hand under it. Fuck you.

Yeah, I'm furious.

WTF? Vol. 6

Alabama NT Terrence Cody shows up to Senior Day practice...with straight up titties. Not man boobs. Fuckin B cups. And I might be selling him short.

lol@them little ass shorts

The End Of An Era...sort of...

For the last 15 years, I've been a regular watcher of Conan O'Brien's late night shows. I can't say I've never missed an episode, but I've tuned in for the vast majority of them. The man is a genius and one of the few people who can consistently generate laughs from me. I know taking over the Tonight Show was a big deal to him. He values the prestige of the franchise - and represented it as well as anybody could have asked him to. This whole situation with Leno is truly unfortunate and essentially robs Conan of what was his dream job. The blame falls mainly on the NBC execs, who are screwing Conan out of a gig because of bad choices they made. I also shift some towards Leno, as I'm a firm believer that you don't pass the torch...and ask for it back. It remains to be seen what will happen to Conan. Most people have him landing his own show on Fox. Which, in the end, may work out for the best as it would probably allow Conan to bring back the edgy comedy that he toned down for the Tonight Show. Whatever the case, I hope we see him back on television more sooner than later. Complete with Andy, Max, La Bamba, and everything that makes his show the most solid late night watch.

And if you didn't know, I ride for Team CoCo.

Happy trails, you strange, red-haired genius, you.

Pray For Haiti

I was fully prepared to start this blog off with "unless you've been living under a rock." Then I realized how much of an insensitive piece of shit I am. It wasn't intentional. I promise. I do want to speak about this very tragic situation in Haiti though. I read today that it was the strongest quake in 200 years. Completely surreal. I cannot begin to imagine what the people of Haiti are going through. A country, that didn't have much to begin with, in utter shambles. It deeply pains me to see the carnage that occurred as a result of that earthquake.

If you're reading me and looking for ways to help, there's plenty of options. I'll list a few sites I've been reading that also have donation options.

Yele

World Vision

Samaritan's Purse

American Red Cross

Unicef

"If I wanted to do something, I began by believing that I could." - Emilio Estefan

Slacking...

Not a whole lot of posts lately - I know. So if you do read this piece of shit, I do apologize. Especially considering that there have been some interesting things out there to speak on lately.

I cooked up this delicious ass pot of spaghetti tonight. It was heaven sent. I can't believe how amazingly talented I am. Store bought pasta, but homemade sauce. Yes ladies, I can cook. My bachelor portfolio is off the charts. So ladies, if you're pulling your panties down now, its with good reason.

PICKUP: Adidas Commander LT Dwight Howard Black Colorway

I already posted the grey pair back in October - now I bring to you the black pair. Which is said to be a Footlocker exclusive, but I can't confirm that. Nevertheless, these make me happy. And is my favorite pair of black patent/blue accented shoes to release recently. You Space Jam freaks know what I'm talking about.

I can't really hate on Space Jams. Maybe I'll scoop a pair of those one day - I'm just beyond fighting crowds/sleep for shoes these days.

Dwight's playing like bullshit this year too. I hope its not "the shoes."

Fake Ass Gymnast Takes L

Life As A Bronco Fan In The Post-Elway Era Is Depressing

I feel like I've seen this before. It's probably because I have. The final day of the season. The Broncos need a win to keep themselves in a playoff scenario. And not only do they come up short, they straight up lay an egg. Yesterday's game against the Chiefs proved to be no different as the Broncos were creamed (yeah, it was so bad that I said "creamed") by the Kansas City Chiefs 44-24. AT HOME.

What went wrong? There's a laundry list. It started earlier in the week when the rift between coach Josh McDaniels and star wide receiver Brandon Marshall once again reared its ugly head, resulting in the team's best player being benched. It continued with the benching of starting tight end Tony Scheffler, apparently because of his attitude toward McDaniels. These are the same two players that were at odds with the coach at the beginning of the season. The picture on the field wasn't anymore pretty. 44 points given up. 259 rushing yards from KC running back Jamaal Charles. Three interceptions thrown by Kyle Orton, two returned for touchdowns. Missed tackles. Dropped passes. An all too familiar scene for Bronco fans on the last day of the season.

For the second year in a row, the Broncos were humiliated by an AFC West rival in the final game of the season to end their playoff hopes. Three out of the last four years, they've lost on the final day of the season to miss the playoffs. The difference this year is that they wouldn't have made it had they won, but you'd still like to see the fighting spirit in your team. Especially in a game against an inferior opponent at home. Yesterday, I didn't even know how to feel about the game. I just know that I've been a Bronco fan since I was in the crib. And I deserve more than this. All of us deserve more than this. I invest too much of myself into this team for them to continuously embarrass themselves like this.

It must get better. We don't accept this in Denver. I thought the years where we routinely got humiliated in the Super Bowl were bad. This is next level.

Happy 2010!

Happy New Year to you and yours. Hopefully you got some vagina / penis last night. Here's to a lot more of that in 2010!